To trust or not to trust

Vex called Daddio yesterday.

She apparently offered him Thanksgiving week since she took Thanksgiving last year.  — Uhm, thanks for offering us what we were already supposed to have?

Then she asked Daddio if they could switch to just straight EOW rather than 1st, 3rd, 5th because she was getting confused on what is or isn’t a 5th weekend. He wasn’t too sure about it, but mentioned that he’d have to make sure if they did switch that he’d still get thegirls for the weekends his parents are in town over Christmas.

To which Vex says “Oh, would you like them for the two weeks over Christmas while your parents are in town?”

Are you kidding me?

I honestly don’t know how to respond because… this is Vex! She never does something that does not benefit her in some way, so, what’s she getting out of this? Why is she so OK with the girls being gone over the holidays. This concerns me people. It concerns me because for the first time MissyMae threw a fit about going home when we saw her on Friday. Because I don’t see a real bond between these girls and their mother and I’m aching inside WANTING Vex to step up and be there for them. I want MissyMae & MissyLou to have their mother. I want to be the happy step-mom who’s a little looney and always buys cool gifts. I dont want this to go in the direction I’m fearful it’s going, where Vex continues to pawn them off to the point where one day they look at me and say “why doesn’t my mommy love me?” and I’ll have to pull up the big girl panties and think of a response that wont be the cold truth.

I’m sure some people might think Vex is just being nice trying to let Daddio & I have the girls for when his parents are in town. But Vex NEVER does anything nice just because. If this is her first ‘just because’ nice act, then you can understand my suspicion about it and how I can’t help but wonder if maybe, maybe, Vex is off work those weeks and would rather not be home all day with three kids under 4 so she wants to toss them off on us to give her a break. In which case, it goes back to my whole “Step Up VEX!” vent above. YOU made them. You have an obligation to love them and be their mother. If the chaos of 2 toddlers & a newborn is too much then maybe you should think about not having another “Opps” babe and get yourself on some birth control.

Daddio and I are currently trying to think about what we can do when his parents are in town. Our car seats 5. His parents and the girls will make 7. We dont want to be stuck in the house for 2 weeks, obviously, so next question is what exactly do we want to be able to do? So many silly new things to stress about. Someone get me a minivan already?

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4 Responses to “To trust or not to trust”


  1. 1 Lacey October 28, 2009 at 2:14 am

    As the mommy of my tiny 2, I will just say, yes, she is trying to pawn them off on you.

    I can’t say I completely blame her, but I can say if I had the chance I would gladly have someone else watch my kiddies for a day or two so I could get caught up on some sleep, maybe read a book (or heck, even just a few pages of a book), and have some ‘me’ time.

    Now, would I pawn them off for TWO WEEKS? Hell.No. I went crazy by day 3 of Hubby & I’s Disney vacation (as in breaking down and crying in front of ‘It’s a Small World’ because I missed them).

    So, I can see wanting someone else to watch them, but if you were already going to have them for a week, there is no excuse for her wanting to pawn them off for an additional week.

  2. 2 1point2 October 28, 2009 at 2:32 am

    Pawning off once in awhile for some R&R is normal, understandable, expected. Even a week here & there wouldn’t jar me.

    I think it was there “You have them for Thanksgiving this year since I had them last year and, oh, would you want them for two weeks over Christmas as well? Because you can take ’em if you’d like.”

    Cee, the OTHER thing is that Vex works during the day, she is gone until 6PM weekdays, Friday nights she’s never home, we assume it’s her date night with BabyCinco’s father. So if you’re looking at QUANTITY of time spent with the girls, it’s EOW for Sat & Sun and then maybe 2.5 hours on weeknights. Much different from being a SAHM (or almost a SAHM).

  3. 3 Lacey October 28, 2009 at 3:25 am

    Yeah.. sounds like she wants a new family with her new man and new LO, but doesn’t want to give up her goodies from the divorce and is only keeping the girls to keep said advantages. I’m sure if she were to lose the goodies she would give up the girls in a second.

    Sorry if that sounds just completely rude (and it does), but that is simply how it appears to me.

    • 4 1point2 October 28, 2009 at 4:27 am

      I don’t know what to think. Other than worry about the girls and hope that whatever she’s going through right now does not cause them to have issues later on.


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Who Are These People?

Mav/Momtog/1p2 -
Me. The voice inside your head.

Daddio -
My husband.

MFOC -
Myfavoriteonlychild, my 3 yr old son

MissyMae & MissyLou -
Daddio's two dear daughters from his previous marriage to Vex.

Ama -
My on-again-off-again mother whom MFOC absolutely adores to bits and pieces and I manage to tolerate 6 months and 2 days out of the year.

Vex -
The crazy ex. Because no blended family would be complete without one. (But she's only half crazy EOW & alternating holidays)

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