Grr Argh

DH has EOW visitation. And EO Friday he takes the girls out to dinner it’s a 2 hour drive after work to get out there. He he leaves an hour early (4) and gets there between 6 and 6:30 depending what time he actually gets on the road, traffic, etc. For 1 year, he has picked them up between 6 – 6:30 and dropped them back off around 8

The youngest is “potty trained” according to BM, but she won’t use the potty when we take her out of the house. So we’ve requested that she be in a pull-up from travel because she won’t announce that she needs to potty first. So tonight we get there at 6:30, bad traffic, pick them up, stop at a store to grab an item, get back to the car, it’s now 7, and the youngest has wet herself. Never said anything, never gave signals that she needed to pee, etc. DH calls BM who proceeds to B#$#$#$ him out on the phone. It’s HIS fault, HE should have had spare clothing for them, HE got there too late and needs to just drop them back off seeing as it’s now 7:20

DH goes back to BMs home and walks youngest up to door to have her changed into clean clothes. At the door same thing, only this time she threatens to call the cops on him if he doesn’t return them by 7:30. So at 7:35 we’re on our way back out to McD’s and she texts him.

7:33 Where are the kids

– playing

I will call the cops then. you had until 7:30 and you knew that. I’ll see you back in court.

– ANd while we’re there I will point out it has been this way all year and should jsut be made 6 – 8 officially

Go for it. But you don’t even arrive at 6

– this one week

-due to unfortunate accident with the potty I would like to enjoy a bit more time with the girls. not breaking anything. I can return them sunday if you prefer.

It does not matter. you are breaking the decree right now and refusing to bring them back. I have it in writing.

– I am not refusing to bring them back. just waiting for them to come back from playing

bull shit. 7:30 is it no matter what. Or are you admitting to not being able to handle the kids while they are in your posession.

– I would like to have a nice visit with the girls as we did swap weekends as you requested.

we will go back to court and you can not have them on thanksgiving. it is my year in the decree. go ahead and keep them, it is the 1st weekend. hope you’re happy.

– lost response likely something of “If that is what you’d like.”

if you do not keep them, yet again you are breaking divorce decree. i will come prepared to court with bills from their dr appointments that you never paid half not to include their medicine, etc.

8:03 You need to let me know one way or another if you are keeping them this weekend or I will assume something bad has happened to the girls and call the cops.

– if we are keeping our plans for thanksgiving we will gladly drop them off. if that is no longer the case we will have them for the weekend.

No we will now follow all plans per divorce decree due to your behaviour

-if that would make you happy

nope not really but my happiness does not matter it’s the girls. and you have kept them out too late, way pas time, so go by the decree.

– Have a good weekend they will be back sunday

Thank you for at least letting me know

 

She’s trying to threaten him with going to court for “unpaid medical bills”. I have to keep reminding DH that’s she’s full of hot air. If the WORST she can complain about to DH is that for the first time in 2 years he returned them home last weekend in DS’s old clothes because their clothes were not dry yet from when we washed them, then, gosh, he must be doing OK. That and these random unpaid medical bills that she’s never shown us or even mentioned until she gets upset and threatens going to court. Here is where it gets tricky. DH and I have been concerned about DSDs socialization and development for awhile. We’ve been researching and not finding a lot of information and not having a lot of “evidence” which we could use in court, just hunches. This weekend we pooled our observations form the last six months and we are 95% convinced that the only time MissyLou leaves Vexs house is with US. MissyMae might leave once in awhile, maybe 2 or 3 times a month. Again. This is from piecing together comments she’s made and observations ourselves.

Daddio and I both are worried about when MissyMae starts school in the fall because she is NOT emotionally ready. It took us 5 months to TEACH them how to play on a playground or go grocery shopping. We have been trying to get MissyMae to go to sunday school and she refuses. As in falls on the ground and flips out into a rage refuses. She is unable to be somewhere that a parent (or trusted caregiver) is not with her. She has started to do this when we go to the gym as well. Refuses to go to the daycare.

Uhm…. something is going to hit the fan when Vex refuses to see there is an issue (because she never takes the girls out anywhere to NOTICE an issue) and in 10 months without making any changes she tries to just drop off MissyMae and think everything will be fine.

 

Yeah. Right.

 

I’ll admit it. I want those girls away from Vex. She doesn’t deserve them. She has NO IDEA how good she has it with Daddio and it just makes me fall apart inside when I see how torn up he gets simply for doing right by his kids because she can’t stand to ever be criticized or not be calling the shots. If she were a good mom and the kids were happy and well adjusted, I would be the first one to tell Daddio to back off and learn to accept his role in his girls’ lives. To trust Vex to be a good mom. BUT SHE’S NOT.

Which makes me a witch for saying that out loud. I get it. But I don’t care because my first priority is to support Daddio in making sure his girls are safe and happy and being raised to be responsible adults. Then I can worry about being a politically correct step-mom.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Grr Argh”


  1. 1 Lacey November 9, 2009 at 4:58 am

    Oh honey.

    First – huge hugs.

    Second – let me know when you guys will be in GV or around there sometime soon and we can all have a good dinner.

    Third – You and Daddio are totally in the right here. J goes to ‘preschool’ and he is not even 2 yet. I’ve been told multiple times that he is the sweetest, most social child there.

    All it takes is letting the kids be a kid around other kids a few days a week. J only goes for 3hrs a day, 2days a week. If she would just TRY, I’m sure your sweet DSD would adjust well, but then again maybe it is too late. I hope for her, and your, and Daddio’s sake it isn’t.

    I’m here if you need me, Love.

  2. 2 hef November 9, 2009 at 6:25 am

    Those texts made MY blood boil… I can only imagine how YOU feel.

    Maybe vex is dealing with a lot of her own emotional turmoil/conflict right now… and maybe seeing how well you guys are doing and therefore feeling inferior to your bad-ass family unit is stirring things up in her. It seems like she’s stuck somewhere between admitting defeat and a desire to brawl it out.

    It’s probably safe to say that you have the better environment for those girls and a better ability to care for them. I wish there were a way to obtain 50/50. Maybe moderation would help? (Of course, it usually costs money.) Obviously, something’s gotta give. For their sake and yours.

    Children ARE adaptable, though. You can (slowy) promote progress in the girls even if it’s only EOW.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




Who Are These People?

Mav/Momtog/1p2 -
Me. The voice inside your head.

Daddio -
My husband.

MFOC -
Myfavoriteonlychild, my 3 yr old son

MissyMae & MissyLou -
Daddio's two dear daughters from his previous marriage to Vex.

Ama -
My on-again-off-again mother whom MFOC absolutely adores to bits and pieces and I manage to tolerate 6 months and 2 days out of the year.

Vex -
The crazy ex. Because no blended family would be complete without one. (But she's only half crazy EOW & alternating holidays)

My Flickr

ljmat-1053

ljmat-1051

ljmat-1049

More Photos

My Twitter

eXtras

Texas Yellow Pages

%d bloggers like this: