Archive for the 'myfavoriteonlychild' Category
Backstory – Myfavoriteonlychild was fathered by FOB who moved from Michigan to Florida 6 months after I moved from Michigan to Texas. FOB has seen myfavoriteonlychild no more than a dozen times in the last 3 years and has called even less. The times he HAS seen myfavoriteonlychild has been because of holidays when we happened to both be back in Michigan at the same time. Never has FOB put an active effort into being involved (financially or emotionally) with myfavoriteonlychild or trying to see him. He is a deadbeat.
When Daddio and I first met and hinting at the whole getting married and being life long pains in each other’s arses, I brought up the topic of Daddio adopting myfavoriteonlychild. It was done in a casual sort of way, one where he had no idea that the answer to this question would mirror the answer to our potential engagement and thus his role in my life and access to my amazing bedroom talents. Daddio answered correctly and therefore I instantly pushed for an elopement
Over our relationship, I have questioned when the right time to start the adoption process would be. I do not care to rush Daddio in this, but I don’t feel like he would feel that he is being rushed, more that want it to be part of his doing and not all of my directing. In every way Daddio is myfavoriteonlychild’s Dad. In fact, he is more of a Dad than most biological fathers are to their kids they live with. I am so incredibly amazingly lucky. I am “I don’t deserve this” lucky. I admit it daily.
I do not feel that Daddio needs to legally adopt myfavoriteonlychild for any reason other than I simply would like to give FOB a quiet way out of myfavoriteonlychild’s life before he becomes old enough to question why FOB is not there. It will be much, much easier for me to explain that FOB was unable to be there for myfavoriteonlychild and loved him so much that he wanted Daddio to be able to be myfavoriteonlychild’s dad for him.
NOTE myfavoriteonlychild will now be simply MFOC.
For many months I was thinking that next summer, when Daddio and I are planning to TTC our first child together, that then would be a good time to initiate the adoption process. But that still left one small detail. How do I allow MFOC to grow up with the knowledge that Daddio is his adopted father so it doesn’t become this huge skeleton in the closet that pops out 12 years later and creates a holly hell of a mess with a hormonal pre-teen. I feel our house will be much, much better served if MFOC always knows that Daddio is not FOB so it becomes a non-issue.
How do you accomplish this when the only option available is to actually TELL the child at this point.
My answer, as of recent, is to wait for the adoption process until MFOC is 5 and then make it a huge family bash. A celebration. The best day on earth. Even better than the birth of a new baby. Okay, close to that. But to hold this monstocity of a party when MFOC is old enough to be able to comprehend in a 5 yr old way that Daddio is now “officially” his Daddy forever and ever no matter what and despite any future teenage angst he may have. To make it an event he will remember as he grows up so it never has to be “explained” that he has a FOB.
But, as always, the mother in me needs to hear reassurance that this is a good idea. That it wont blow up in my face.
Or, if you have a better idea, then let’s hear that too.
Doesn’t feel like it.
In a good way.
It feels like we’ve been married for years. That we’re still in love, not a puppy love, but a real live “this shit’s getting real and we’re about to jump into it holding hands” kind of way.
We’ve got ourselves three kids, two dogs, and one cat already. That’s more than most people will acquire in a decade and we’ve done it in a year.
Speaking of, today makes exactly one year since Daddio and I first met each other. Amazing. And to think that I was worried him being shorter than me would be a dealbreaker. Gah, remember that? lol. Hello life, love your humor.
Today also is important because it marks myfavoriteonlychild’s 3rd birthday. Three years ago today I was in the hospital after 4 days of piss & moan failed labor induction. And I held in my hands fate’s answer to my miserable attempt at going in the right direction.
Looking back, I see how I was doing everything wrong. I had been ignoring all the signs, suggestions, and damn roadblocks put in my way trying to direct me where to go. myfavoriteonlychild was Fate’s answer. He didn’t save me, he simply gave me the ability to save myself.
Three is such a big age. Three really is no longer a “toddler”, not in today’s world. Today, three is very much a preschooler and preteenager. It’s sad, seeing him growing up so fast, but I’m also so proud of him. I’s so proud of the advancements I’ve seen in the last year.
And I’m ecstatic by the recent independence he’s shown me at home, wandering off and playing on his own for an hour or two at a time letting me potty, get dressed, and skim my emails in the meantime.