Archive for the 'Ramblings' Category

things

Things are good.

Been awhile. Yes I know. I’ve missed you too.

Things here are moving forward, if haltingly.

Daddio and Vex have been going up and down with sharp inclines and, at the moment, are mellowed out enough that I think they both are enjoying the breather. Daddio is taking steps to modify the CO and potentially looking at where he stands with a change in custody in the next year or so. Shall see.

I’ve hit a plateau in my weightloss because of my own fault. I’m just maintaining at the moment. I need to get back to the mindset of actually loosing the weight. I am making better choices, but I’m giving into temptation too often.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

So true. Need to remember when that when my son shoves a gooey yummy donut in my face while my tummy is growling for lunch. Le sigh.

I’m feeling motivated. Really motivated. I want to re-do my life. I want to chisel in some changes. Fine tuning if you will.

Of course I want to continue to lose weight. I would like to reach 160 before Daddio & I are TTC this summer. That’s just over 40 lbs. I CAN do it. Absolutely.

Also,

I would like to put together a $1,000 savings pot with Daddio. We have debts, but I would like to see us have $1,000 tucked aside for family emergencies.

I would also like to start doing No Spend Days twice a week. This will be hard for me. I like to spend. A lot. And I see that I am teaching my son that it’s OK to spend money easily.

Likewise, Daddio and I want to challenge ourselves to a 90-day shopping free living existence. Say What? For 90 days Daddio and I will not purchase anything that is not needed. Food & toiletries are acceptable. New clothing, gadgets, books, magazines, etc. Not so much.

Likewise, I want to start “No Drive Days”. Days where I am able to entertain MFOC in our home with whatever we have on hand already.

Tweaks. Fine tuning. Things like that. I want to make them happen. I want to find contentment in what God has already blessed me with and not worry about what else is out there that I could be adding to my collection.

Houston, Can we just skip Halloween?

Money this year is tight, the kids don’t really care yet, and, frankly, I dont need to be surrounded by buckets of bite sized candy.

MFOC is set on being Thomas, which means he gets a very dorky looking costume that’s been sitting in the bottom of the dress up box for a few months. I know he loves Thomas right now, but this costume just is not my thing. 😉 I would have much rather he wanted to be a monster or a dinosaur, but no, he loves his blue engine friend.

The girls will go as princesses since we have about ten dozen princess dresses in the dress up box. Okay, it’s only four, but still. $30 a costume or one of their current favorite dresses that we already own. Hmmmmmm….

argh. I’m just tired. in another life I could go to bed but right now, I have about 5 more hours of work to do before I crash out.

sigh sigh sigh

Been finding some fun links lately. Been hard to find the time to read through them all. Impossible really.So they just stay opened in tabs until I have about one bajillion tabs opened and every time I start my computer it takes about ten minutes for FireFox to count how many tabs I last had opened. Hello, my name is Mav | Momtog and I have a tab addition.

I thought about putting them into bookmarks, but I know they’ll never be looked at again. Yes putting a site in “bookmark” is sentencing it to never be seen again by my eyes. Brilliant. A total “out of sight out of mind” type situation.

So, for now, they sit open with literally 30+ tabs on one browser.

MFOC has been having some sleep issues recently. It started with him waking up at 4 AM wetting the bed, something he’d never done before. Then it morphed into him just waking up at 5:30 ready to start the day. This morning, at 6:15, I rolled over to see MFOC on the floor with his blanket & pillow, asleep.

Traditionally because Daddio & I only have a queen bed it’s quite cramped whenever a 3rd body tries to sleep in it. Especially if that 3rd body wriggles and wiggles and moves. So with the early morning wake-ups I would suggest that MFOC bring his blanket & pillow and sleep in the floor until Daddio’s alarm went off and they could go get breakfast. This morning, however, I do not remember hearing MFOC enter the room. I do not remember if I woke up and told him to go get his pillow and blanket. I just know that he was there when I woke up and I felt great being able to sleep the whole night rather than waking up early.

Speaking of sleeping, no matter how hard we try, Daddio and I cannot get to bed before 12:30. Even when we’re IN bed, we end up talking to each other about anything, everything until one of us gives up and cries ‘uncle’ for some sleep. I dont mind this, except I think it’s starting to take it’s toll on Daddio. Being up so late has caused him to be a little less chipper in the mornings. Understandable. I just hope it’s not causing him to feel tired and sleepy at work.

Today is laundry day. And change the oil day. And, hopefully, go to the gym day.

We’ll see. 😉

Oh Yes HE Did

** Note to incoming people posting on this entry  – Forgive me for posting my opinion but it is my opinion which I have every right to post. My comments were only that the maternity images were unflattering, which they are, given that she is still not in the big obvious baby belly stage COUPLED WITH her very bored expression as if she couldn’t care less. I’m sorry you feel I’m a cold hearted bitch because of my opinion. Truly. It was obviously never my intention to hurt anyone or I simply could have … oh, left an anonymous comment on a blog calling her ugly, untrue names. As it was, I posted a comment in my personal blog, admitted it was totally 100% anti-PC, and went on with being fascinated by her 8th pregnancy and all that goes with it.

The quality of the photography is perfectly awesome. Simply the pose I was unimpressed with. To each her own though. Thank you for playing. **

So I’ve been procrastinating and surfing around finding fun blogs to read rather than actually work on any of the dozens of business related things I should be working on (yeah, I know) and I came across this site

http://baby-eight.blogspot.com/

Where the blogger is having her 8th child and is writing about all the ups and downs and in between things. Fascinating.

And then she posted some recent belly pics at 21 weeks. Being the curious Momtog I had to look.

And I laughed. Hard.

http://www.karenbove.com/21%20weeks/

Now, first, I seriously thought these were some of the most unflattering maternity images I’ve seen in the aspect that had she not TOLD me she was pregnant, I would have had to GUESS they were supposed to be maternity images and not just some overweight woman. Mean and cruel, I know, whatever.

But then I noticed the lack of smile, make-up, or anything else that would suggest excitement about the event. Daddio looked, and made a comment about it as well.

To which I quickly shot back “Well it’s her EIGHTH child! No wonder she’s not all glowy with maternal anticipation!” Because, of course, I remember all too well what I looked like pregnant and it’s no where near glowy or maternal.

So he responds “No wonder she looks bored, she’s almost run out of fingers to count them on.”

Oh no. Did he seriously just say that?

Yes, he did.

And that’s why I love him.

i shop too much

Yesteday. *smiles*

Yesterday MFOC and I were getting dressed in the AM and at random talked about Daddio. MFOC has a fabulous habit of saying “You the best mommy/daddy/ama ever!” thanks to several dedicated weeks of my telling him that HE is the bestest MFOC ever! He says this at random now, just like he says “I love you” at random, and gives us hugs and kisses at random. He is one of the sweetest and most empathetic toddlers I know. And this is not just me being all “I’m the bestest mommy ever because my kid says so and he is the bestest kid ever too!” Because, trust me, MFOC is NOT a perfect kid and there are plenty of times, like last night, strangers overhear me mumbling not-so-quietly to Daddio that I want to slap MFOC ‘cuz he’s driving me up a wall.

But that’s just how I parent. Lots of bark and no bite.

Anyway, so MFOC was going on about how awesome Daddio is and I had to open my big mouth and go “He’s the bestest Daddy ever! We should make him a cake for being the bestest Daddy ever!”

And MFOC responds back all “How about the cake be for everybody!” Because I’ve taught him the difference between ownership and communal property in this house. Therefore anytime he wants something and I say “YOU can’t have it” he comes back with “How about for everybody?”

At which point I nearly die of laughter because he is SO damn grown up already and doesn’t even know it. He;s going to be a politician someday after he wins the SuperBowl and a Grammy.

So I was hoping he would forget about the whole “cake for Daddy” convo. But no. He remembered. As soon as we talked to Daddy afterwork and told him we were going to go grocery shopping for dinner MFOC pulls out the big one and screams “And we’re going to get CAKE! For EVERYBODY!”

And right then and there I cursed myself for being such an ultra awesome wife and telling MFOC that Daddy deserved a cake for being so awesome. I should just stick to being the typical wife and just expect Daddio to be so cool and never mention he deserves cake again. Even on birthdays. But, alas, I’m still a newlywed and love the fact that Daddio and I can show MFOC and the girls what it’s like to be in a marriage where you talk positively about your spouse and are not afraid to let it be known that you love each other. Give me 20 years and I’m sure things will change.

But, we’re at Target for dinner groceries and looking at their cakes because while Daddio may deserve one, I’m sure as heck not about to MAKE one and dirty up the kitchen. So then it turns into us looking at the toys and I have to make a detour in the kids clothing department. And continued to find about $500 worth of stuff that the kids totally needed. This is when I thank the stars I married a conservative spender, who is not afraid to look through my selections and say “The girls don’t need anything else and MFOC only needs one sweatshirt and you don’t need another ten pairs of shoes.”

Doh. Fine.

We settled on getting the girls each one new comfy swearshirt for the winter and I bought 4 turtleneck thingies to wear under tee-shirts and tanktops to extend their summer tops and then MFOC picked up a sweat set because all I EVER dress him in is jeans and I figured this way he’s got a comfy set of clothes in case he’s ever sick or I’m just really behind on laundry and, dude, they were only $4!

So this means that yesterday I bought MFOC 2 more pairs of jeans (I admitted to Daddio that MFOC is now SET on jeans until next fall. He seriously has, like, 10 pairs) I bought myself 3 shirts on sale for $8 each at Old Navy (and a size L! I’m down a size in shirts!) and for the first time in over a year I bought myself a new pair of jeans. I live in jeans, and they always wear out in the thighs and I end up having rips and holes so these pairs were very much needed with the cooler weather.

I spent too much money, but it was all needed, or at least will be used well. And in the end we picked up an ice cream cake for Daddio for being so awesome and putting up with my antics and psycho ways, and MFOC was estatic that the ice cream cake was, indeed, for everybody, including him.

she said

Apparently Daddio talked to Vex on Friday while he was driving out to pick up the girls and she oh-so-casually happened to mention to him that she would be doing some fall & winter clothes shopping for the girls and she’d just give him the receipt to pay half if he’d like.

He replied very nicely (much more nicely that I would have) with a simple “We already have winter clothes for them here but thanks.”

Likewise she also offered that since she works 45 minutes away from us that she’d bring the girls with her in the morning on Friday so that Daddio could pick them up at 8AM and drop them off at bed time at night.

Uh?

Please tell me you’re on drugs and not that mentally challenged when it comes to common sense.

Now, this may seem odd to some people but I am that type of step-mom who thinks she can make the kids’ lives so much better off by being as nice as possible to their mother and thinking as many positive thoughts as possible to avoid thinking about the craptastic crap their mother tries to constantly pull. But if we can avoid showing any dislike towards thier mother (in front of them) then things will be better all around.

So I try, often, to think nice happy thoughts about Vex.

I try to remind myself that in some odd weird way I am now part of her daughters’ family and thus connected to her through them. I know, not the most popular step-mom opinion but it’s MY opinion.

I have never fully understood this whole “I will cease to acknowledge your existence once the kids step foot into my house” attitude that so many blended family mom’s have.

In our house, we have “Mommy ‘Vex” who is the girls’ mommy. Because both girls have decided to call me “Mommy” – despite my initial discouragement, now I just flow with it – at times I needed a way to talk about THEIR mommy, Mommy Vex, or “your mommy”.  But at the same time I am also their “stand in mommy” when they’re in our house. I am not their REAL mommy, I just get to be a fun cool mommy that bakes cookies and dresses them in skirts and takes them to the park and reads stories.

Again, that is not a popular opinion but it’s MINE.

MissyMae has recently started to referre to Vex & Vex’s house as “My Family”.  Daddio and I have tried to encourage the idea that MissyMae and MissyLou are special girls who have TWO families. One with THEIR Mommy Vex and one with Daddio.  But this also doesn’t sit totally right with me because, as a child of divorced parents, I HATED having two of everything and having my parents so … split-up. I hated that the idea of one family with two branches wasn’t encouraged more to me. That it was my mom’s house was my home and my family and that where my dad lived was just “Dad’s house, dad’s wife” etc. It was not MY anything.

Daddio are very diligent about making the girls both feel just as part of our family as myfavoriteonlychild, even if they’re not here as often.

They still get the same treatment

follow the same rules

and have the same amount of sweet luvin’ given to them.

But I am anticipating that this will not last long.

I am going to enroll myfavoriteonlychild in dance lessons next year (January). He needs an outlet and I think it will be fun. But the girls do not have these advantages. All too soon I am envisioning the dance of having myfavoriteonlychild off at activities on weekends and during the week and when we have the girls having them look to us wondering why they aren’t going too.

Speaking of …

On Sunday Vex called Daddio to ask his permission to add her BF to the Bally’s Fitness account that Daddio and Vex are still on (expires in September 2010). Daddio says as long as THEY take over the monthyl payments he’s cool with it. Digger deeper into the convo, he realizes that she’s asking his permission to have Bally’s charge the $62 fee to add her BF to the card on file (Daddio’s).  Daddio says no way, and that on Monday they can put Vex’s card on file, remove Daddio’s, and then the BF can be added to the account.

Soon as he hangs up with her I turn to him and go “So, they’re going to be working out at Bally’s where there is no childcare and thus leaving the kids home.”

I told Daddio next time he talks to Vex he should just tell her to join the YMCA where at least they can take the kids to the provided daycare so the girls can get out once in awhile and learn to socialize.

positive thoughts. positive thoughts. positive thoughts.

And Then …

Friday I had a wedding in El Paso, Texas.

El Paso is 600 miles away from our home. That’s 9 hours of driving the posted speed limits from here to El Paso.

And the entire trip sucked from A to Z.  Balls, Ass, Monkey Brains, whatever you want to call it, it just sucked.

It started out with me not getting out on the road on Thursday until 1:30 because I was driving everywhere trying to find a car charger for my phone.

Then it was the realization that El Paso and MyTown are not in the same time zone although they’re in the same state. Thus the sun would set an hour earlier than I anticipated and thus we would have an hour’s less light for pictures. I pulled into El Paso at 10PM on Thursday and then spent the next 45 minutes driving around in a circle because they were currently doing construction on every street leading to my hotel and no one seemed to find it important to tell me that apparently in El Paso it’s perfectly OK to drive on the wrong side of the road when there is construction blocking the entrance to your hotel.

Then the morning of the wedding I realized that Daddio’s car had a flat tire. This is coming at a time where I was emptying my bank account to get the gas money to go out there. Dipping into anything meant dipping into money earmarked for upcoming bills. Maybe we didnt really need that gym membership anymore…. or food.

So I manage to beg my mom into letting me borrow a few hundred just in case the tire situation was really really bad and it was either pay them a lot of cash, my first born, or protest by moving into my husband’s SUV with a flat tire until someone from my family came to rescue me because they got tired of watching myfavoriteonlychild and answering the bill collectors. And angry clients. I have those too.

SO, yeah, cash in my account. Went back to being Super Wedding Photog only to have TWO really, really XXL guests think it was way funny that just as the bride was walking down the aisle toward her groom they leapt out directly in front of me with their ultra awesome pocket digital cameras. I’m sure they were being all sweet and awesomely helpful, but really, back off. It just kinda, sorta, maybe makes me look like a craptastic photographer when you block my view of THE most important shot of the day, the bride entering the church. Screw the kiss or the “i do” or “I now pronounce…”, it’s all about that grand entrance and overly whitened-to-the-point-of-‘that can’t be real white’ dress. And it’s at this point that I start to wonder if it would be considered a forgivable sin to knock off one or both of the oblivious rude guests blocking my view. Thankfully my trigger finger was busy with my camera and not a pistol. Because, this is Texas y’all and I totally COULD be toting around a pistol in my purse. I’m just rebel enough to do something like that.

Anyway, over it now.

So the wedding pretty much over, the bride then got me drunk on shots of tequilia and a pitcher of margarita’s. Because the bride is cool. I will say that much about my weekend.

So, Saturday morning I go to the tire place and the guy behind the counter goes “Is it a V6 or a 4 cylinder.”

“Not sure.”

“Is it all wheel drive or front?”

“Couldn’t really tell you for sure.”

And at this point the little mexican dude is thinking “Score!” and he’s texting all this work buddies “I’m making employee of the month off this sale!!!”

So he walks out to the car, looks at the tire, and he goes “Oh baby you screwed. You can’t get back to Dallas on these tires! You need to replace them all.”

So I have to ask him why I need 4 new tires when I only had one flat. He proceeds to screw me sideways. I finally tell him to pull out and that I will ONLY be getting the back two tires replaced thankyouverymuch.

So now I just drained my entire bank account to get myself two spankin’ new tires on Daddio’s car and forget I have this pesky issue of gas and 600 miles to drive home. In an SUV.

Oh.

Yeah.

Crap.

I phoned Daddio and proceeded to get into a whimpy argument over the phone about how he needed to go deposit money in my account if he ever wanted to get laid again. Ever. Especially THAT night because without his cash advance I’d be sleeping in the parking lot of Discount Tire with my brand spankin’ new tires to keep me warm. And maybe the now-employee-of-the-month mexican dude. Anything would be possible at that point.

SO then I had gas covered. And I was ready to roll. Except I was hungry. I’d skipped an expensive breakfast at the hotel with the bride that morning and opted to save my money for the tires (obviously a good call) but now I was hungry. SO hungry I couldn’t drive another mile until I’d had something to eat.

And no money.

Dude. Seriously?

What else could POSSIBLY go wrong at this point.

I had to ask.

Answer. Border Patrol.

“Ma’am, what were you doing in El Paso.”

“I was shooting a wedding.”

“What?”

“Shit.”

“Please pull over to the side.”

Yeah.

But, thankfully, a quick glance in my camera bag and a smirk or two later and they let me go without a cavity search. Sadly, I was kinda looking forward to having one. In a sick perverted kind of way. Don’t Judge.

FINALLY I was on the road with my bag of Walmart non-perishable items chock full of trans fats and preservatives. Life was good. Too good. So good that the cosmos looked down from above and went “Life is too good for her, we have to go and screw something up just to make it fair. Because life is totally about balance and being fair.” So, at 200 miles left to go, the gas tank hit empty and I pulled off to fill up one last time.

Except, it could never be THAT easy. Oh no. Instead I had to pick the gas pump that refused to pump gas. Major suckage at this point, because when you’re a gas pump your whole purpose for existence is to pump. gas. And when you fail at that, well, then I guess you just fail at existing and should be obliterated into tiny molecular particles again. But no, life is not THAT fair.

So I enter the gas station to tell the attendant that said pump is not working. The young female attendant comes outside with me, and continues to swipe my debit card no less than FOUR TIMES through the machine trying to figure out what’s wrong before turning to me and going “I guess you should just go to another gas station.”

At this point I returned her teeny-bopper- agnst look of “Like, you totally made me work today!” with the wrath of the mother/newly-wed who has been away from her family/husband for 72 hours and just wants to get.the.fuck.home.

I rationally explain to her that I am afraid to leave the property because, you see, each time you swipe my debit card it puts a hold on $50 or so and thus you have now put a hold on some $300 in my account THAT I DON’T HAVE so my card will be declined and the other gas station attendant will tell me to go F off because HE doesn’t care that YOU destroyed any chance of me every getting home alive due to your stupidity.

But I was nicer in person.

So she tells me she’ll cancel out the pre-paid amount they just put on my card and I can try a different pump (the third one at this station) if I want. Only, they can’t exactly get my pre-paid amount to be refunded onto my card. They’re locked out of their cash register. And so I stand there for 40 minutes while she phones her supervisor to ask him to explain to her how to fix this second massive mistake she’s made.

And she didnt even offer me a free coffee while I waited.

40 minutes later I try the third pump, it works, and I leave as quickly as I can before they can possibly screw up anything else.

And 200 miles later I get home, into the welcoming arms of my husband, whom I quickly shove off of me and crawl into bed, alone, because the last thing I want after my hellish day is anyone touching, squeezing, or otherwise suggesting that I should do anything other than pass out cold in my own bed.


Who Are These People?

Mav/Momtog/1p2 -
Me. The voice inside your head.

Daddio -
My husband.

MFOC -
Myfavoriteonlychild, my 3 yr old son

MissyMae & MissyLou -
Daddio's two dear daughters from his previous marriage to Vex.

Ama -
My on-again-off-again mother whom MFOC absolutely adores to bits and pieces and I manage to tolerate 6 months and 2 days out of the year.

Vex -
The crazy ex. Because no blended family would be complete without one. (But she's only half crazy EOW & alternating holidays)

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