Archive for the 'my wicked step self' Category

Grr Argh

DH has EOW visitation. And EO Friday he takes the girls out to dinner it’s a 2 hour drive after work to get out there. He he leaves an hour early (4) and gets there between 6 and 6:30 depending what time he actually gets on the road, traffic, etc. For 1 year, he has picked them up between 6 – 6:30 and dropped them back off around 8

The youngest is “potty trained” according to BM, but she won’t use the potty when we take her out of the house. So we’ve requested that she be in a pull-up from travel because she won’t announce that she needs to potty first. So tonight we get there at 6:30, bad traffic, pick them up, stop at a store to grab an item, get back to the car, it’s now 7, and the youngest has wet herself. Never said anything, never gave signals that she needed to pee, etc. DH calls BM who proceeds to B#$#$#$ him out on the phone. It’s HIS fault, HE should have had spare clothing for them, HE got there too late and needs to just drop them back off seeing as it’s now 7:20

DH goes back to BMs home and walks youngest up to door to have her changed into clean clothes. At the door same thing, only this time she threatens to call the cops on him if he doesn’t return them by 7:30. So at 7:35 we’re on our way back out to McD’s and she texts him.

7:33 Where are the kids

– playing

I will call the cops then. you had until 7:30 and you knew that. I’ll see you back in court.

– ANd while we’re there I will point out it has been this way all year and should jsut be made 6 – 8 officially

Go for it. But you don’t even arrive at 6

– this one week

-due to unfortunate accident with the potty I would like to enjoy a bit more time with the girls. not breaking anything. I can return them sunday if you prefer.

It does not matter. you are breaking the decree right now and refusing to bring them back. I have it in writing.

– I am not refusing to bring them back. just waiting for them to come back from playing

bull shit. 7:30 is it no matter what. Or are you admitting to not being able to handle the kids while they are in your posession.

– I would like to have a nice visit with the girls as we did swap weekends as you requested.

we will go back to court and you can not have them on thanksgiving. it is my year in the decree. go ahead and keep them, it is the 1st weekend. hope you’re happy.

– lost response likely something of “If that is what you’d like.”

if you do not keep them, yet again you are breaking divorce decree. i will come prepared to court with bills from their dr appointments that you never paid half not to include their medicine, etc.

8:03 You need to let me know one way or another if you are keeping them this weekend or I will assume something bad has happened to the girls and call the cops.

– if we are keeping our plans for thanksgiving we will gladly drop them off. if that is no longer the case we will have them for the weekend.

No we will now follow all plans per divorce decree due to your behaviour

-if that would make you happy

nope not really but my happiness does not matter it’s the girls. and you have kept them out too late, way pas time, so go by the decree.

– Have a good weekend they will be back sunday

Thank you for at least letting me know

 

She’s trying to threaten him with going to court for “unpaid medical bills”. I have to keep reminding DH that’s she’s full of hot air. If the WORST she can complain about to DH is that for the first time in 2 years he returned them home last weekend in DS’s old clothes because their clothes were not dry yet from when we washed them, then, gosh, he must be doing OK. That and these random unpaid medical bills that she’s never shown us or even mentioned until she gets upset and threatens going to court. Here is where it gets tricky. DH and I have been concerned about DSDs socialization and development for awhile. We’ve been researching and not finding a lot of information and not having a lot of “evidence” which we could use in court, just hunches. This weekend we pooled our observations form the last six months and we are 95% convinced that the only time MissyLou leaves Vexs house is with US. MissyMae might leave once in awhile, maybe 2 or 3 times a month. Again. This is from piecing together comments she’s made and observations ourselves.

Daddio and I both are worried about when MissyMae starts school in the fall because she is NOT emotionally ready. It took us 5 months to TEACH them how to play on a playground or go grocery shopping. We have been trying to get MissyMae to go to sunday school and she refuses. As in falls on the ground and flips out into a rage refuses. She is unable to be somewhere that a parent (or trusted caregiver) is not with her. She has started to do this when we go to the gym as well. Refuses to go to the daycare.

Uhm…. something is going to hit the fan when Vex refuses to see there is an issue (because she never takes the girls out anywhere to NOTICE an issue) and in 10 months without making any changes she tries to just drop off MissyMae and think everything will be fine.

 

Yeah. Right.

 

I’ll admit it. I want those girls away from Vex. She doesn’t deserve them. She has NO IDEA how good she has it with Daddio and it just makes me fall apart inside when I see how torn up he gets simply for doing right by his kids because she can’t stand to ever be criticized or not be calling the shots. If she were a good mom and the kids were happy and well adjusted, I would be the first one to tell Daddio to back off and learn to accept his role in his girls’ lives. To trust Vex to be a good mom. BUT SHE’S NOT.

Which makes me a witch for saying that out loud. I get it. But I don’t care because my first priority is to support Daddio in making sure his girls are safe and happy and being raised to be responsible adults. Then I can worry about being a politically correct step-mom.

That’s What She Said

Daddio dropped off the girls tonight.

A few notes about the weekend. MissyLou was picked up on Friday in cotton panties WITHOUT ANYONE TELLING US. So we began the 1.5 hour car ride back home without ANY clue that she was in panties even though last conversation Daddio had with Vex it was mentioned the MissyLou always wore pull-ups for traveling. Plus her panties were full of p**p marks just like MissyMae’s always seem to be. Can no one in that house wipe a rear end properly? Every time we pick up the girls it seems like we’re getting diaper rashes or skidmarks that rival the Texas Motor Speedway track.

So I’m furious about the whole lack of mentioning the cotton panties with the long return car ride. Furious. Mainly because it seems like Vex is never home for Daddio to talk to when he picks up or drops off the girls and we’re never given information about them like if they’ve been switched into cotton panties for a 1.5 hour car ride home. It is just annoying to never have a clue.

Anyway. So he takes they back with a few small pumpkins they picked up at the pumpkin patch on Saturday and each girl painted one pumpkin to take back home while the carved pumpkins will stay at our house. The girls were SO PROUD of their pumpkins. SO proud. So Vex is finally there (first time in 6 weeks) and Daddio talks to her for a minute and she asks if we had any behavior issues form the girls.

Nope. Nothing that’s not age appropriate.

To which she says – essentially – “That’s good. We noticed they come home better behaved.”

Oh yes. That is the SWEET smell of “Oh Hellz Yeah!”

I dont really know Vex, I simply know the effects of her parenting. I simply know that the girls are way beyond sheltered and bordering on lacking any real world skills. That my son is, sadly & boastfully, more advanced than MissyMae who is 11 months older than him. (Boastfully only because I love to talk about how awesomely smart my son is.) I know that the girls never show signs of “missing” their mom and instead talk about going home to see “Grandma” (Who is Vex’s BF’s mother.) I know that the girls like our house. They have fun when they’re with us. And when we go out together as a family, we almost always get compliments from strangers about how “refreshingly well behaved” our children are. Because Daddio & I don’t take no chite from no one in this house.

And I simply know that if she can SEE the difference and be able to understand it’s the work we (Daddio & I) put into running our home & family, perhaps there is hope for her yet.

I know it is an unpopular idea in some circles, because I’m only the “step-mother” (oh my wicked self!) but every single time I see the girls the first thing I do is give them a hug and tell them I love them. I never want any of our children to ever have the opportunity to question if they’re loved. I want that fact to be instilled deep in their minds and hearts so that even when they’re in trouble for being terrible beastly children, they will know there is NOTHING they could do to ever make us (Daddio & I) stop loving them. SO I tell all three kidlets as often as I think of it that I love them. And I hug them and *gasp* kiss them.

I am NOT their mother. I am just the awesome step-mom who loves them dearly. And for that I refuse to apologize. And until THEY make it known they’re uncomfortable with my affections, I’ll keep telling them I love them, hugging them, and kissing them good-night as often as I can.


Who Are These People?

Mav/Momtog/1p2 -
Me. The voice inside your head.

Daddio -
My husband.

MFOC -
Myfavoriteonlychild, my 3 yr old son

MissyMae & MissyLou -
Daddio's two dear daughters from his previous marriage to Vex.

Ama -
My on-again-off-again mother whom MFOC absolutely adores to bits and pieces and I manage to tolerate 6 months and 2 days out of the year.

Vex -
The crazy ex. Because no blended family would be complete without one. (But she's only half crazy EOW & alternating holidays)

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