Archive for the 'sounds like life' Category

laughing

because we’re broke.

can’t buy food broke. Might be short on rent broke. And it’s hysterical.

People email all the time about how they want a “deal” on their pictures. Obviously I’m already giving them a “deal” if we’re this freakin’ broke and I’m this dang busy. I need another job, but I dont WANT another job. I just want to take pictures. I should listen to myself and raise my prices, all the “rockstars” swear by it.

But, in the meantime, WTH would I do?

THIS is not working. Clearly. Something needs to change.

Not sure what. But something.

I have spent some money on extras last couple months, but not a lot.

Still. Wow. This is not good. *sigh*

And then I start to think about how we will NEVER be ready for another baby. We will never have the extra money to afford it. Etc. Etc.

Life is sucking right now. Really, really sucking in the financial sector.

Not that this is unique, of course.

To trust or not to trust

Vex called Daddio yesterday.

She apparently offered him Thanksgiving week since she took Thanksgiving last year.  — Uhm, thanks for offering us what we were already supposed to have?

Then she asked Daddio if they could switch to just straight EOW rather than 1st, 3rd, 5th because she was getting confused on what is or isn’t a 5th weekend. He wasn’t too sure about it, but mentioned that he’d have to make sure if they did switch that he’d still get thegirls for the weekends his parents are in town over Christmas.

To which Vex says “Oh, would you like them for the two weeks over Christmas while your parents are in town?”

Are you kidding me?

I honestly don’t know how to respond because… this is Vex! She never does something that does not benefit her in some way, so, what’s she getting out of this? Why is she so OK with the girls being gone over the holidays. This concerns me people. It concerns me because for the first time MissyMae threw a fit about going home when we saw her on Friday. Because I don’t see a real bond between these girls and their mother and I’m aching inside WANTING Vex to step up and be there for them. I want MissyMae & MissyLou to have their mother. I want to be the happy step-mom who’s a little looney and always buys cool gifts. I dont want this to go in the direction I’m fearful it’s going, where Vex continues to pawn them off to the point where one day they look at me and say “why doesn’t my mommy love me?” and I’ll have to pull up the big girl panties and think of a response that wont be the cold truth.

I’m sure some people might think Vex is just being nice trying to let Daddio & I have the girls for when his parents are in town. But Vex NEVER does anything nice just because. If this is her first ‘just because’ nice act, then you can understand my suspicion about it and how I can’t help but wonder if maybe, maybe, Vex is off work those weeks and would rather not be home all day with three kids under 4 so she wants to toss them off on us to give her a break. In which case, it goes back to my whole “Step Up VEX!” vent above. YOU made them. You have an obligation to love them and be their mother. If the chaos of 2 toddlers & a newborn is too much then maybe you should think about not having another “Opps” babe and get yourself on some birth control.

Daddio and I are currently trying to think about what we can do when his parents are in town. Our car seats 5. His parents and the girls will make 7. We dont want to be stuck in the house for 2 weeks, obviously, so next question is what exactly do we want to be able to do? So many silly new things to stress about. Someone get me a minivan already?

And Then …

Friday I had a wedding in El Paso, Texas.

El Paso is 600 miles away from our home. That’s 9 hours of driving the posted speed limits from here to El Paso.

And the entire trip sucked from A to Z.  Balls, Ass, Monkey Brains, whatever you want to call it, it just sucked.

It started out with me not getting out on the road on Thursday until 1:30 because I was driving everywhere trying to find a car charger for my phone.

Then it was the realization that El Paso and MyTown are not in the same time zone although they’re in the same state. Thus the sun would set an hour earlier than I anticipated and thus we would have an hour’s less light for pictures. I pulled into El Paso at 10PM on Thursday and then spent the next 45 minutes driving around in a circle because they were currently doing construction on every street leading to my hotel and no one seemed to find it important to tell me that apparently in El Paso it’s perfectly OK to drive on the wrong side of the road when there is construction blocking the entrance to your hotel.

Then the morning of the wedding I realized that Daddio’s car had a flat tire. This is coming at a time where I was emptying my bank account to get the gas money to go out there. Dipping into anything meant dipping into money earmarked for upcoming bills. Maybe we didnt really need that gym membership anymore…. or food.

So I manage to beg my mom into letting me borrow a few hundred just in case the tire situation was really really bad and it was either pay them a lot of cash, my first born, or protest by moving into my husband’s SUV with a flat tire until someone from my family came to rescue me because they got tired of watching myfavoriteonlychild and answering the bill collectors. And angry clients. I have those too.

SO, yeah, cash in my account. Went back to being Super Wedding Photog only to have TWO really, really XXL guests think it was way funny that just as the bride was walking down the aisle toward her groom they leapt out directly in front of me with their ultra awesome pocket digital cameras. I’m sure they were being all sweet and awesomely helpful, but really, back off. It just kinda, sorta, maybe makes me look like a craptastic photographer when you block my view of THE most important shot of the day, the bride entering the church. Screw the kiss or the “i do” or “I now pronounce…”, it’s all about that grand entrance and overly whitened-to-the-point-of-‘that can’t be real white’ dress. And it’s at this point that I start to wonder if it would be considered a forgivable sin to knock off one or both of the oblivious rude guests blocking my view. Thankfully my trigger finger was busy with my camera and not a pistol. Because, this is Texas y’all and I totally COULD be toting around a pistol in my purse. I’m just rebel enough to do something like that.

Anyway, over it now.

So the wedding pretty much over, the bride then got me drunk on shots of tequilia and a pitcher of margarita’s. Because the bride is cool. I will say that much about my weekend.

So, Saturday morning I go to the tire place and the guy behind the counter goes “Is it a V6 or a 4 cylinder.”

“Not sure.”

“Is it all wheel drive or front?”

“Couldn’t really tell you for sure.”

And at this point the little mexican dude is thinking “Score!” and he’s texting all this work buddies “I’m making employee of the month off this sale!!!”

So he walks out to the car, looks at the tire, and he goes “Oh baby you screwed. You can’t get back to Dallas on these tires! You need to replace them all.”

So I have to ask him why I need 4 new tires when I only had one flat. He proceeds to screw me sideways. I finally tell him to pull out and that I will ONLY be getting the back two tires replaced thankyouverymuch.

So now I just drained my entire bank account to get myself two spankin’ new tires on Daddio’s car and forget I have this pesky issue of gas and 600 miles to drive home. In an SUV.

Oh.

Yeah.

Crap.

I phoned Daddio and proceeded to get into a whimpy argument over the phone about how he needed to go deposit money in my account if he ever wanted to get laid again. Ever. Especially THAT night because without his cash advance I’d be sleeping in the parking lot of Discount Tire with my brand spankin’ new tires to keep me warm. And maybe the now-employee-of-the-month mexican dude. Anything would be possible at that point.

SO then I had gas covered. And I was ready to roll. Except I was hungry. I’d skipped an expensive breakfast at the hotel with the bride that morning and opted to save my money for the tires (obviously a good call) but now I was hungry. SO hungry I couldn’t drive another mile until I’d had something to eat.

And no money.

Dude. Seriously?

What else could POSSIBLY go wrong at this point.

I had to ask.

Answer. Border Patrol.

“Ma’am, what were you doing in El Paso.”

“I was shooting a wedding.”

“What?”

“Shit.”

“Please pull over to the side.”

Yeah.

But, thankfully, a quick glance in my camera bag and a smirk or two later and they let me go without a cavity search. Sadly, I was kinda looking forward to having one. In a sick perverted kind of way. Don’t Judge.

FINALLY I was on the road with my bag of Walmart non-perishable items chock full of trans fats and preservatives. Life was good. Too good. So good that the cosmos looked down from above and went “Life is too good for her, we have to go and screw something up just to make it fair. Because life is totally about balance and being fair.” So, at 200 miles left to go, the gas tank hit empty and I pulled off to fill up one last time.

Except, it could never be THAT easy. Oh no. Instead I had to pick the gas pump that refused to pump gas. Major suckage at this point, because when you’re a gas pump your whole purpose for existence is to pump. gas. And when you fail at that, well, then I guess you just fail at existing and should be obliterated into tiny molecular particles again. But no, life is not THAT fair.

So I enter the gas station to tell the attendant that said pump is not working. The young female attendant comes outside with me, and continues to swipe my debit card no less than FOUR TIMES through the machine trying to figure out what’s wrong before turning to me and going “I guess you should just go to another gas station.”

At this point I returned her teeny-bopper- agnst look of “Like, you totally made me work today!” with the wrath of the mother/newly-wed who has been away from her family/husband for 72 hours and just wants to get.the.fuck.home.

I rationally explain to her that I am afraid to leave the property because, you see, each time you swipe my debit card it puts a hold on $50 or so and thus you have now put a hold on some $300 in my account THAT I DON’T HAVE so my card will be declined and the other gas station attendant will tell me to go F off because HE doesn’t care that YOU destroyed any chance of me every getting home alive due to your stupidity.

But I was nicer in person.

So she tells me she’ll cancel out the pre-paid amount they just put on my card and I can try a different pump (the third one at this station) if I want. Only, they can’t exactly get my pre-paid amount to be refunded onto my card. They’re locked out of their cash register. And so I stand there for 40 minutes while she phones her supervisor to ask him to explain to her how to fix this second massive mistake she’s made.

And she didnt even offer me a free coffee while I waited.

40 minutes later I try the third pump, it works, and I leave as quickly as I can before they can possibly screw up anything else.

And 200 miles later I get home, into the welcoming arms of my husband, whom I quickly shove off of me and crawl into bed, alone, because the last thing I want after my hellish day is anyone touching, squeezing, or otherwise suggesting that I should do anything other than pass out cold in my own bed.


Who Are These People?

Mav/Momtog/1p2 -
Me. The voice inside your head.

Daddio -
My husband.

MFOC -
Myfavoriteonlychild, my 3 yr old son

MissyMae & MissyLou -
Daddio's two dear daughters from his previous marriage to Vex.

Ama -
My on-again-off-again mother whom MFOC absolutely adores to bits and pieces and I manage to tolerate 6 months and 2 days out of the year.

Vex -
The crazy ex. Because no blended family would be complete without one. (But she's only half crazy EOW & alternating holidays)

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