Archive Page 2

oh not again

Going through the open tabs and trying to consolidate them as much as possible or at least close the ones I really don’t care enough about to continue reading and I stumbled on this little jewel.

http://www.faintstarlite.com/2009/10/the-naked-truth/

At first I was having a fun giggle or two at the images of her being ‘dangerously close’ to fitting into her favorite jeans again. But something she said stuck with me in regards to her post-baby body –

‘It’s as if I have to make peace with my body again. No cardio will ever lift my c-section scar or my stretch marks – they’re my baby battle wounds. But… I will fit in my jeans again. I can do the work to make that happen. And, I will find a way to feel sexy again.’
Since MFOC was born I’ve yo-yoed up and down with the same 10 pounds. Very long yo-yos, but still the same. The truth is, I think a part of my was too scared to face the reality.

No matter how much weight I lose, my body will NEVER be the way it was when I was 19.

Some of the changes in my body would require lots of expensive and unneeded surgeries in order to make it look like “before”. Who wants to admit that? Who wants to admit that even after all the hard work and reaching that end goal, seeing the goal weight on the scale, that even then you still won’t look like those models. It makes you wonder in the back of your head if it’s worth it. If the struggle is worth it.

I am not just on a quest to reach a specific weight. I am on a quest to find myself sexy again. Sexy in a make love with the lights on kind of way. The physical marks on my body from pregnancy and birthing a child are never.going.away. Even with losing 60+ pounds (in the end) they will still be there.

And my boobs will still sag.

I need to be able to understand that, expect it, respect it. I have to find a way to make peace with my ‘mommy body’ and while I get fit & healthy I need to be embracing the changes my body went through 3 years ago and not let it hold me back from feeling sexy and attractive.

I need to redefine my idea of sexy to include room for saggy skin, stretch marks, and even a little muffin-top. I need to redefine what sexy is to me, so that I can be able to view myself as fitting into that definition.

sigh sigh sigh

Been finding some fun links lately. Been hard to find the time to read through them all. Impossible really.So they just stay opened in tabs until I have about one bajillion tabs opened and every time I start my computer it takes about ten minutes for FireFox to count how many tabs I last had opened. Hello, my name is Mav | Momtog and I have a tab addition.

I thought about putting them into bookmarks, but I know they’ll never be looked at again. Yes putting a site in “bookmark” is sentencing it to never be seen again by my eyes. Brilliant. A total “out of sight out of mind” type situation.

So, for now, they sit open with literally 30+ tabs on one browser.

MFOC has been having some sleep issues recently. It started with him waking up at 4 AM wetting the bed, something he’d never done before. Then it morphed into him just waking up at 5:30 ready to start the day. This morning, at 6:15, I rolled over to see MFOC on the floor with his blanket & pillow, asleep.

Traditionally because Daddio & I only have a queen bed it’s quite cramped whenever a 3rd body tries to sleep in it. Especially if that 3rd body wriggles and wiggles and moves. So with the early morning wake-ups I would suggest that MFOC bring his blanket & pillow and sleep in the floor until Daddio’s alarm went off and they could go get breakfast. This morning, however, I do not remember hearing MFOC enter the room. I do not remember if I woke up and told him to go get his pillow and blanket. I just know that he was there when I woke up and I felt great being able to sleep the whole night rather than waking up early.

Speaking of sleeping, no matter how hard we try, Daddio and I cannot get to bed before 12:30. Even when we’re IN bed, we end up talking to each other about anything, everything until one of us gives up and cries ‘uncle’ for some sleep. I dont mind this, except I think it’s starting to take it’s toll on Daddio. Being up so late has caused him to be a little less chipper in the mornings. Understandable. I just hope it’s not causing him to feel tired and sleepy at work.

Today is laundry day. And change the oil day. And, hopefully, go to the gym day.

We’ll see. 😉

Oh Yes HE Did

** Note to incoming people posting on this entry  – Forgive me for posting my opinion but it is my opinion which I have every right to post. My comments were only that the maternity images were unflattering, which they are, given that she is still not in the big obvious baby belly stage COUPLED WITH her very bored expression as if she couldn’t care less. I’m sorry you feel I’m a cold hearted bitch because of my opinion. Truly. It was obviously never my intention to hurt anyone or I simply could have … oh, left an anonymous comment on a blog calling her ugly, untrue names. As it was, I posted a comment in my personal blog, admitted it was totally 100% anti-PC, and went on with being fascinated by her 8th pregnancy and all that goes with it.

The quality of the photography is perfectly awesome. Simply the pose I was unimpressed with. To each her own though. Thank you for playing. **

So I’ve been procrastinating and surfing around finding fun blogs to read rather than actually work on any of the dozens of business related things I should be working on (yeah, I know) and I came across this site

http://baby-eight.blogspot.com/

Where the blogger is having her 8th child and is writing about all the ups and downs and in between things. Fascinating.

And then she posted some recent belly pics at 21 weeks. Being the curious Momtog I had to look.

And I laughed. Hard.

http://www.karenbove.com/21%20weeks/

Now, first, I seriously thought these were some of the most unflattering maternity images I’ve seen in the aspect that had she not TOLD me she was pregnant, I would have had to GUESS they were supposed to be maternity images and not just some overweight woman. Mean and cruel, I know, whatever.

But then I noticed the lack of smile, make-up, or anything else that would suggest excitement about the event. Daddio looked, and made a comment about it as well.

To which I quickly shot back “Well it’s her EIGHTH child! No wonder she’s not all glowy with maternal anticipation!” Because, of course, I remember all too well what I looked like pregnant and it’s no where near glowy or maternal.

So he responds “No wonder she looks bored, she’s almost run out of fingers to count them on.”

Oh no. Did he seriously just say that?

Yes, he did.

And that’s why I love him.

A New Lifestyle

So in my quest to follow through with the weight loss I’ve adapted the mindset that this is not a diet, it’s a lifestyle change.

We are changing habits people. Habits that have been going on for over 25 years of life. This is not just going to take some 21 days. It’s going to take lots of focus.

A ramble if you’ll allow me … I used to take my daily points and divide them evenly between meals with putting just a couple extra for dinner. However I found that this did not fit out family’s living habits very well. Daddio likes to cook and I like to just sit with the family at dinner time and enjoy myself, not obsess about points. So through some trial and error I decided to re-structure my day to allow myself more leeway at dinner.

I am not a big breakfast eater, never have been, but I knew how beneficial it is to have “something” for breakfast. So I allowed myself 4 points for breakfast. That’s 1 slimfast and a piece of fruit or two eggs. A piece of toast and a yogurt. Just enough to have “something” but not where I feel sick because I’m eating too much.

Same for lunch. I try to stay below 6 points at all costs. Then I normally need a snack around 3 or 4 and the rest is for dinner with a ‘treat’ in the evenings if I have anything left. That’s just what seems to work best for me right now.

However, I am very aware as I lose weight I will be having less and less points available. Plus I want to be more proactive in this, so I started to hunt for recipes that I could make which would be low in points, easy, and affordable.

Sooooooo many times I read a recipe and I think about how I have no idea what half the ingredients are. I wanted to find things that I might just already have half the ingredients on hand. Not to mention I feel it very important to teach my child/ren how to cook and to have home cooked meals be a norm for our home.

So, I thought I might share with everyone what I do as I go along. 🙂

Last night we made Goulash Casserole.
Original found Here : http://www.angelfire.com/journal/wwrecipes/364.htm
5 Points Per Serving

My tweaked recipe below.

1 pound ground turkey — browned and drained
1/2 yellow onion — chopped
1 clove garlic — minced
1 jar pasta sauce. (I used whatever was on sale.)
8 ounces tomato sauce
6 ounces tomato paste
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1.5 cup corn, frozen
7 ounces Rotini — cooked and drained
13 ounces spinach, frozen — thawed and drained
1/2 cup Egg Beaters® 99% Egg Substitute
4 ounces cheddar cheese, lowfat — shredded
1/4 cup Fat-free Parmesan Cheese

Preheat oven to 350º.

Spray a 13 inch by 9 inch by 2 inch cake pan.
In large saucepan over medium heat, cook beef, onion and garlic until meat is no longer pink and vegetables are tender. Drain.

Add the next 7 ingredients and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.

Stir in pasta, spinach, egg substitute, shredded cheese and bread crumbs. Stir to combine.

Pour into prepared cake pan.

Sprinkle with parmesan cheese

Cover and bake at 350º for 30 to 35 minutes or until hot and bubbly.

Let stand 10 minutes.

Cut into 12 equal servings.

Can freeze leftovers.

— Verdict
Daddio gave this a 4/5. I tend to agree. The servings were VERY filling and satisfying, my only thought was next time I might find a way to add a little more spice or flavor. We use whole wheat pasta and at times the flavor of it can dominate a meal if not compensated for. Something to keep in mind.

However, this was a total go for us! And I loved that I was able to freeze half the left overs and turn the other half into dinner for tonight! Three meals from one dish. Perfecto!!! And at about 5 points a serving (might want to count 6 to be on the safe side…) it fits perfect into my daily allowance.

Lurve this whole cooking thing.

That’s What She Said

Daddio dropped off the girls tonight.

A few notes about the weekend. MissyLou was picked up on Friday in cotton panties WITHOUT ANYONE TELLING US. So we began the 1.5 hour car ride back home without ANY clue that she was in panties even though last conversation Daddio had with Vex it was mentioned the MissyLou always wore pull-ups for traveling. Plus her panties were full of p**p marks just like MissyMae’s always seem to be. Can no one in that house wipe a rear end properly? Every time we pick up the girls it seems like we’re getting diaper rashes or skidmarks that rival the Texas Motor Speedway track.

So I’m furious about the whole lack of mentioning the cotton panties with the long return car ride. Furious. Mainly because it seems like Vex is never home for Daddio to talk to when he picks up or drops off the girls and we’re never given information about them like if they’ve been switched into cotton panties for a 1.5 hour car ride home. It is just annoying to never have a clue.

Anyway. So he takes they back with a few small pumpkins they picked up at the pumpkin patch on Saturday and each girl painted one pumpkin to take back home while the carved pumpkins will stay at our house. The girls were SO PROUD of their pumpkins. SO proud. So Vex is finally there (first time in 6 weeks) and Daddio talks to her for a minute and she asks if we had any behavior issues form the girls.

Nope. Nothing that’s not age appropriate.

To which she says – essentially – “That’s good. We noticed they come home better behaved.”

Oh yes. That is the SWEET smell of “Oh Hellz Yeah!”

I dont really know Vex, I simply know the effects of her parenting. I simply know that the girls are way beyond sheltered and bordering on lacking any real world skills. That my son is, sadly & boastfully, more advanced than MissyMae who is 11 months older than him. (Boastfully only because I love to talk about how awesomely smart my son is.) I know that the girls never show signs of “missing” their mom and instead talk about going home to see “Grandma” (Who is Vex’s BF’s mother.) I know that the girls like our house. They have fun when they’re with us. And when we go out together as a family, we almost always get compliments from strangers about how “refreshingly well behaved” our children are. Because Daddio & I don’t take no chite from no one in this house.

And I simply know that if she can SEE the difference and be able to understand it’s the work we (Daddio & I) put into running our home & family, perhaps there is hope for her yet.

I know it is an unpopular idea in some circles, because I’m only the “step-mother” (oh my wicked self!) but every single time I see the girls the first thing I do is give them a hug and tell them I love them. I never want any of our children to ever have the opportunity to question if they’re loved. I want that fact to be instilled deep in their minds and hearts so that even when they’re in trouble for being terrible beastly children, they will know there is NOTHING they could do to ever make us (Daddio & I) stop loving them. SO I tell all three kidlets as often as I think of it that I love them. And I hug them and *gasp* kiss them.

I am NOT their mother. I am just the awesome step-mom who loves them dearly. And for that I refuse to apologize. And until THEY make it known they’re uncomfortable with my affections, I’ll keep telling them I love them, hugging them, and kissing them good-night as often as I can.

i shop too much

Yesteday. *smiles*

Yesterday MFOC and I were getting dressed in the AM and at random talked about Daddio. MFOC has a fabulous habit of saying “You the best mommy/daddy/ama ever!” thanks to several dedicated weeks of my telling him that HE is the bestest MFOC ever! He says this at random now, just like he says “I love you” at random, and gives us hugs and kisses at random. He is one of the sweetest and most empathetic toddlers I know. And this is not just me being all “I’m the bestest mommy ever because my kid says so and he is the bestest kid ever too!” Because, trust me, MFOC is NOT a perfect kid and there are plenty of times, like last night, strangers overhear me mumbling not-so-quietly to Daddio that I want to slap MFOC ‘cuz he’s driving me up a wall.

But that’s just how I parent. Lots of bark and no bite.

Anyway, so MFOC was going on about how awesome Daddio is and I had to open my big mouth and go “He’s the bestest Daddy ever! We should make him a cake for being the bestest Daddy ever!”

And MFOC responds back all “How about the cake be for everybody!” Because I’ve taught him the difference between ownership and communal property in this house. Therefore anytime he wants something and I say “YOU can’t have it” he comes back with “How about for everybody?”

At which point I nearly die of laughter because he is SO damn grown up already and doesn’t even know it. He;s going to be a politician someday after he wins the SuperBowl and a Grammy.

So I was hoping he would forget about the whole “cake for Daddy” convo. But no. He remembered. As soon as we talked to Daddy afterwork and told him we were going to go grocery shopping for dinner MFOC pulls out the big one and screams “And we’re going to get CAKE! For EVERYBODY!”

And right then and there I cursed myself for being such an ultra awesome wife and telling MFOC that Daddy deserved a cake for being so awesome. I should just stick to being the typical wife and just expect Daddio to be so cool and never mention he deserves cake again. Even on birthdays. But, alas, I’m still a newlywed and love the fact that Daddio and I can show MFOC and the girls what it’s like to be in a marriage where you talk positively about your spouse and are not afraid to let it be known that you love each other. Give me 20 years and I’m sure things will change.

But, we’re at Target for dinner groceries and looking at their cakes because while Daddio may deserve one, I’m sure as heck not about to MAKE one and dirty up the kitchen. So then it turns into us looking at the toys and I have to make a detour in the kids clothing department. And continued to find about $500 worth of stuff that the kids totally needed. This is when I thank the stars I married a conservative spender, who is not afraid to look through my selections and say “The girls don’t need anything else and MFOC only needs one sweatshirt and you don’t need another ten pairs of shoes.”

Doh. Fine.

We settled on getting the girls each one new comfy swearshirt for the winter and I bought 4 turtleneck thingies to wear under tee-shirts and tanktops to extend their summer tops and then MFOC picked up a sweat set because all I EVER dress him in is jeans and I figured this way he’s got a comfy set of clothes in case he’s ever sick or I’m just really behind on laundry and, dude, they were only $4!

So this means that yesterday I bought MFOC 2 more pairs of jeans (I admitted to Daddio that MFOC is now SET on jeans until next fall. He seriously has, like, 10 pairs) I bought myself 3 shirts on sale for $8 each at Old Navy (and a size L! I’m down a size in shirts!) and for the first time in over a year I bought myself a new pair of jeans. I live in jeans, and they always wear out in the thighs and I end up having rips and holes so these pairs were very much needed with the cooler weather.

I spent too much money, but it was all needed, or at least will be used well. And in the end we picked up an ice cream cake for Daddio for being so awesome and putting up with my antics and psycho ways, and MFOC was estatic that the ice cream cake was, indeed, for everybody, including him.

because we care

Backstory – Myfavoriteonlychild was fathered by FOB who moved from Michigan to Florida 6 months after I moved from Michigan to Texas. FOB has seen myfavoriteonlychild no more than a dozen times in the last 3 years and has called even less. The times he HAS seen myfavoriteonlychild has been because of holidays when we happened to both be back in Michigan at the same time. Never has FOB put an active effort into being involved (financially or emotionally) with myfavoriteonlychild or trying to see him. He is a deadbeat.

When Daddio and I first met and hinting at the whole getting married and being life long pains in each other’s arses, I brought up the topic of Daddio adopting myfavoriteonlychild. It was done in a casual sort of way, one where he had no idea that the answer to this question would mirror the answer to our potential engagement and thus his role in my life and access to my amazing bedroom talents. Daddio answered correctly and therefore I instantly pushed for an elopement

Over our relationship, I have questioned when the right time to start the adoption process would be. I do not care to rush Daddio in this, but I don’t feel like he would feel that he is being rushed, more that  want it to be part of his doing and not all of my directing. In every way Daddio is myfavoriteonlychild’s Dad. In fact, he is more of a Dad than most biological fathers are to their kids they live with. I am so incredibly amazingly lucky. I am “I don’t deserve this” lucky. I admit it daily.

I do not feel that Daddio needs to legally adopt myfavoriteonlychild for any reason other than I simply would like to give FOB a quiet way out of myfavoriteonlychild’s life before he becomes old enough to question why FOB is not there. It will be much, much easier for me to explain that FOB was unable to be there for myfavoriteonlychild and loved him so much that he wanted Daddio to be able to be myfavoriteonlychild’s dad for him.

NOTE myfavoriteonlychild will now be simply MFOC.

For many months I was thinking that next summer, when Daddio and I are planning to TTC our first child together, that then would be a good time to initiate the adoption process. But that still left one small detail. How do I allow MFOC to grow up with the knowledge that Daddio is his adopted father so it doesn’t become this huge skeleton in the closet that pops out 12 years later and creates a holly hell of a mess with a hormonal pre-teen. I feel our house will be much, much better served if MFOC always knows that Daddio is not FOB so it becomes a non-issue.

How do you accomplish this when the only option available is to actually TELL the child at this point.

My answer, as of recent, is to wait for the adoption process until MFOC is 5 and then make it a huge family bash. A celebration. The best day on earth. Even better than the birth of a new baby. Okay, close to that. But to hold this monstocity of a party when MFOC is old enough to be able to comprehend in a 5 yr old way that Daddio is now “officially” his Daddy forever and ever no matter what and despite any future teenage angst he may have. To make it an event he will remember as he grows up so it never has to be “explained” that he has a FOB.

But, as always, the mother in me needs to hear reassurance that this is a good idea. That it wont blow up in my face.

Or, if you have a better idea, then let’s hear that too.


Who Are These People?

Mav/Momtog/1p2 -
Me. The voice inside your head.

Daddio -
My husband.

MFOC -
Myfavoriteonlychild, my 3 yr old son

MissyMae & MissyLou -
Daddio's two dear daughters from his previous marriage to Vex.

Ama -
My on-again-off-again mother whom MFOC absolutely adores to bits and pieces and I manage to tolerate 6 months and 2 days out of the year.

Vex -
The crazy ex. Because no blended family would be complete without one. (But she's only half crazy EOW & alternating holidays)

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